Well.....As you can see, I have not been writing in my blog! Why? Well, it's a simple thing called shame and embarrassment. As much as I would love to make some changes to my health, I am finding it rather difficult to make them. I have the tools, I know what I need to do, I look in the mirror and see a grossly obese individual who has apparently lost all control in her life. I KNOW I need to do this! I am not sure what is holding me back right now....could be the stress of losing my father, a crazy busy life, a body that no longer wants to do what I ask of it, the fact that I feel so overwhelmed about starting this journey that took so long before, I can go on and on and on, however, I won't.
The fact of the matter is, that I am right back to square one. I weigh the same today as I did 9 years ago; when my original journey started. I am at a point now, where some serious decisions HAVE to be made. I have to decide if I want to live, or do I want to die from obesity. Do I want to embrace my life and live with passion? Or do I want to fade away more and more, allowing myself to be overcome with the fat prison I have put myself into? Obviously, I do not want to do the later or else I would not be doing this blog.
So, it leaves me with some questions I need to get some answers to. Can I do this myself? Are the many tools I have acquired over the years going to be enough this time? What kind of support do I need to have to make myself successful? What kind of program do I need to follow? Obviously the same exercise til I drop and starve myself isn't going to cut it this time. I have arthritis from overuse injuries that has flared up as my weight has increased. I feel like a old lady that needs a cane to walk.
Actually, I have come to realize the answers to my questions...
Can I do this myself? NO. I have tried so many times and if doing it myself was the answer, I would have succeeded already.
Are my tools enough? NO...once again, I have a huge arsenal of tools, and I have used them all in various combinations...but like the first answer, If I was going to succeed with just these tools, I already would have.
What kind of support do I need? All the support I can get....I need all of my family, friends and neighbors to cheer and encourage me. I need support of the medical community, psychological support, support of fellow OA members through regular attended meetings, and the support of A loving Father in Heaven.
What kind of program do I need to follow? Well, I am currently looking into some things that I have always viewed as last resort. It will require hard work both mentally and physically. I am not ready to discuss those options yet, but when I am further down the road, I will discuss them, with understanding that positive support and encouragement will be needed!
Til, then, here's to a new journey down the same, yet very different path! This time, I am ready to do a 180 and stay there...this 360 thing really sucks!
The fact of the matter is, that I am right back to square one. I weigh the same today as I did 9 years ago; when my original journey started. I am at a point now, where some serious decisions HAVE to be made. I have to decide if I want to live, or do I want to die from obesity. Do I want to embrace my life and live with passion? Or do I want to fade away more and more, allowing myself to be overcome with the fat prison I have put myself into? Obviously, I do not want to do the later or else I would not be doing this blog.
So, it leaves me with some questions I need to get some answers to. Can I do this myself? Are the many tools I have acquired over the years going to be enough this time? What kind of support do I need to have to make myself successful? What kind of program do I need to follow? Obviously the same exercise til I drop and starve myself isn't going to cut it this time. I have arthritis from overuse injuries that has flared up as my weight has increased. I feel like a old lady that needs a cane to walk.
Actually, I have come to realize the answers to my questions...
Can I do this myself? NO. I have tried so many times and if doing it myself was the answer, I would have succeeded already.
Are my tools enough? NO...once again, I have a huge arsenal of tools, and I have used them all in various combinations...but like the first answer, If I was going to succeed with just these tools, I already would have.
What kind of support do I need? All the support I can get....I need all of my family, friends and neighbors to cheer and encourage me. I need support of the medical community, psychological support, support of fellow OA members through regular attended meetings, and the support of A loving Father in Heaven.
What kind of program do I need to follow? Well, I am currently looking into some things that I have always viewed as last resort. It will require hard work both mentally and physically. I am not ready to discuss those options yet, but when I am further down the road, I will discuss them, with understanding that positive support and encouragement will be needed!
Til, then, here's to a new journey down the same, yet very different path! This time, I am ready to do a 180 and stay there...this 360 thing really sucks!
RSS Feed